DC Masked

Riding the DC Metro is an experience, and not one I want to repeat on a daily basis. Not that the Metro isn't a viable and sometimes preferable way to get around the DC area, it most definitely is. But it's not my cup of tea in the early morning on my way to work. I prefer Chai.

But seriously, I just don't see the advantage to starting my day with a sardine-packed crowd of gloomy-faced commuters in black coats. Nothing like a human downer to take the excitement of a new day from you. And those blank stares...it's actually a bit frightening. I think they are real people, but....

Anyway, this week I'm dealing with masks. No gloomy faces, just masks. DC has truly gone undercover. It's cold outside and scarfs are now wrapped artfully around necks and faces, ski masks are tugged up over mouths, hats are pulled low over freezing ears, and faces have disappeared on the streets of DC. Only the blank stares remain visible.

So, metro or not, there is no positive facial communication going on the this powerful city. Imagine that. It's a strange way to live, not to mention the real effort it takes to go anywhere. Let me focus on that for a minute.

I'm used to sliding into sandals and heading out the door, morning, noon and night - New Mexico spoiled me. Now, in DC, in this weather, there's a ritual to going anywhere. And it's not a fun ritual.

The ritual to leave my condo now includes the following components:

1. Shoes. Boots are preferred, so tugging, zipping, wiggling into boots becomes part of the exit process. And an extra pair of shoes to wear in the office is recommended as a permanent part of your of office or shoulder bag inventory.
2. Scarf. Scarves are not optional. At least one is necessary, around the neck, tucked under or laying over the collar. A second shawl-style scarf can also be wrapped around your shoulders, over your coat (later).
3. Gloves. Gloves are a must. Frozen fingers do not maneuver office security systems well (and we all have little buzzers, or keys, or fobs, that allow access into our DC office buildings). Security is everything in DC.
4. Coat. Coats are required. Long is preferred. Pockets are recommended. A hood is perfect. And it has to slide over business clothes, so bulk is a benefit when talking about the coat. (now is the time to wrap the shawl-style scarf, if you have one)
5. Umbrella.  Always. Period. No further discussion needed. 
6. Over the shoulder bag. To carry everything as you walk or ride to your destination. (including shoes)

So, when it's time to go somewhere, you change out of your "pretty" shoes, into your boots. Then you wrap your scarf around your neck in whatever creative knot you prefer. Then the coat is pulled over the business clothes and buttoned or belted. The shawl-style scarf is wrapped around your shoulders before the over the shoulder bag is lifted high over your head to criss cross your body at a jaunty angle, then you check (once more) that your umbrella, mini-purse, documents, shoes, etc, are safely tucked inside and the bag is latched, zipped, snapped). Gloves are pulled over fingers and.....well, off you go, assuming you still have some energy.

When you hit the cold air as you leave the building, you tug the scarf upward to cover your mouth and nose, tilt your head down, and stare at the pavement beneath your feet.

You are now one with DC. Unidentifiable. Non-communicative. Masked with eyes to the ground. (reminds me of Pants on the Ground) but not nearly as fun (but yet another way to stay warm, I suppose, if you're into street dancing). I talk to the parking garage attendants more than anyone else I see during the day, with the exception of my amazing Atlas colleagues. How can you talk to someone when everyone's looking down?

Going out in DC is an ordeal. No quick grabbing of sandals and out the door. Not here.

It's not easy. It's not quick. It's not comfortable. And it's not friendly. Fellow DCers in masks or with gloomy faces.

I think I prefer the masks. I can imagine smiles beneath them.